General

The more we keep these feelings from others, the more they feel like an embarrassing secret that we'd be mortified to tell anyone.

Sometimes I think that what makes it a "taboo" is more than anything else ourselves. It's understandable because a lot of us have suffered feelings of shame about who we are and what we're attracted to.

Just imagine noticing one of your friends always goes out with girls from a particular ethnic race. Or hearing that your friend prefers girls who have a very high-flying job and are a bit bossy. Or finding out that one of your friends enjoys a spot of light bondage. You might be moderately amused for a minute, or intrigued, but my guess is that you'd quickly forget all about it. You'd accept it about them just the same as knowing that they act like a dick when they've had a few drinks or are really good or bad at a particular sport, or a brainbox/dunce at maths. It's just an individual trait.

Don't sweat it. Chances are your friends have already noticed you have fatter girlfriends anyway!

What do you plan on doing when you get into a relationship? Are you going to introduce her to your friends and family?

*like*

This made me laugh.

So true.

I was once in the same boat as you, Bigjellobelly. I had a prefernce for bigger girls when I was about 15 or 16. Admittedly, I hung out with the bigger girls at high school, but one I was 18, I began dating chubby girls. I didn't say anything to them about their weight for a while in case they were offended by it. Over time, I came to accept it more myself, and my dad started giving me a bit of grief about the girls I was seeing, but I stayed with my beliefs.
On another note, this website has helped me a lot, and i've mingled with a few other members of this site. I'm pretty open about who I am now, even if it took until I was in my mid 20's to fully accept and appreciate it.

I first realized that I'm attracted to bigger women when I was 20. Yeah, you heard that right... I always felt weird, but only at around 20 years of not knowing my true identity I finally realized what's the problem. Lack of young, bigger women in my vicinity kept my inner drive pretty much turned off. I was ridiculed for gay and whatnot. Girls tried to get me, even sleep with me... I was just turned off by all of them.

So, get out of your closet and do what you really want, NOW. And thank the almighty internet. If you ever feel bad, think of the internet!

i'm pretty open about my love of big guys. i don't like just say it out of nowhere, but when i'm asked what my type is, i say that i like them tall and big. i don't really go into the whole feeding thing though, that's a little more intimate

As far as my attraction to fat women is concerned, I've never been "in the fat closet."

It's not that I don't care what other people think. It's just that if someone wants to fault me for being attracted to fat women, I see it as their problem, not mine. Not everyone can have my good taste.

I understand the fear of ridicule and the disapproval of others. The only legitimate reason for someone to be embarrassed or ashamed of being attracted to fat people is if there is something inherently wrong with it, and there is nothing wrong with being attracted to fat people.

Still, there is the fear of ridicule and disapproval.

I've never been embarrassed to have a fat woman on my arm, or to have one on both arms. However, until recently, I've had those same feelings of embarrassment and shame and the fear of ridicule and disapproval about my desire to be fat, be fattened, and enjoy the process of getting fatter.

When I thought about it, it didn't make sense that I'd feel embarrassment and shame about one, but not the other.

So I took a close look about why I don't feel embarrassment or shame about being attracted to fat women.

This could easily be summed up with the statement, "There is nothing wrong with being attracted to fat people," but in order to get past the embarrassment and shame of my feedee side, I had to look at it a little more closely.

...and here's my perspective.

I am the ultimate authority about my life.

I care about my family, friends, and to a much lesser degree, people I don't know, but in the end I'm the one who has to live with the consequences of the choices I do or do not make.

My friends and family know me well enough to know that I wouldn't allow them to put be down for being attracted to fat women. (In reality, I don't put up with any abuse.)

How is this?

I'd treat it as if it's their problem, not mine, because that's what it is.

...and if someone were unwilling to accept me as I am... well...

I don't need that person in my life.

I am the ultimate authority about my life. I am the one who has to live with the choices I do and don't make, and there is no reason to allow others to make my decisions for me.

When I applied the same thought process to my desire to gain, my desire to be fat, being fat, and the pleasure of it all, any shame or embarrassment I felt about it disappeared.

There was one more hurdle I still had to get over. If I were to allow myself to get fat, it might cause fewer women to be attracted to me, and I really like women.

Let me rephrase that...

I REALLY like women.

I didn't like the idea of doing something that limited my options.

As much as I enjoy female attention, I know that I'll never be satisfied with a woman who isn't turned on by creating a fatter and fatter me. It's much better to find that out early on, than it is to find that out weeks, months, or years into a relationship, so "limiting my options" really works to my advantage because I wouldn't want to be in a committed relationship with a woman who isn't a feeder anyway.

I'm not currently gaining for health reasons, and because like sex, it's so much more fun to do it with the right woman than it is to do it with just myself.

...but I'm doing it for myself, and not because someone else might get upset about or judge me for how I choose to live my life.

I couldn't even begin to contemplate what might happen/be said if I were to "come out of the fridge" to my family. I have come out to some friends and they've been supportive of me being a gainer. Maybe I'm paranoid, but I feel like my family would have me committed if I told them.